all  of tha times you said `this  time  is
 different` ,  every   thought   that   you
 stated  that  sounded ` too  good to be
 true` were lies.   your  excitement lead
 you to false ideas and  feelings. i hope
 you see  now that  you  can`t  promise
 or make things  certain by  just  stating
 them.  you have to do what  you say or
 don`t show  your false affections at all.
 i heard  things that i din`t  want to hear; 
 it sounded unreal   that you  would say
 something like that.tho hard to accept,it
 was tha truth.it hurts that i was nothing
 to you; so  easily given up. i felt treated
 like an object, a toy in which you use to
 play. but now i see tha real you and i`m 
 0VER it. _cut

--`1O22O4
bleh. today sucked butt. i felt kinda depressed throughout the day; but im not really sure why. just didn`t really feel like smiling or anything. the only thing that was pleasant was seeing all of my friends; i mean the real friends who actually care about me. not those fakers who pose to get something out of me. i guess i just wasn`t myself today.

lately i`ve been having a great craving for music; especially today. i don`t know why tho. just felt like listenin` to slow jams over and over again. i just can`t pin point exactly how i feel right now. at times im okay and other times im just out of it. so many thoughts are buzzing into my mind and i guess music is the only thing that can comfort me now. im so baffled at this point. i feel like im never good enough for anything or anyone. i know it`s not true; but that`s how i feel. i can`t help it. i just want to say thanks to every single one of my true friends for putting up with me. i really appreciate it; and thanks to everyone today that cared about me and listened to me for the simple sake of cheering me up; not just for your own selfish purposes like others. you know who you guys are. ;]

 like someone said, "i need time to think about this." do i really?_cut

hey dudes! i guess imma update this once again because today was EXTRA coool. ;D did some parallel structures in eth lit. then a pre-essay. took a fairly easy test in chem. got out a mod early &walked around with deanna. talked about stuff. ;D walked her to reg then went to mine. listen`d to daphne`s mp3 during geo. x] got mod 8 off &juss chilled with pple. *woooogity³* LMAO. i love you guysss! ;D played badmiton during pe. our team lost. >;[ discussed about tha skit in chinese. waited for deanna to come out. chit chatted with flora. then went to TA. worked the ball machines. it was actually funn this time. :] then went to health ed where we watched a movie. talked to thao about things. =/ &got our test grades. >:P so0 school basically sucked kinda. AFTERSCHO0L was tha bombers tho. me betty &carol waited for deanna to get out of class. talked to hetty. met a new friend. :] then we all walked to tower records to see jin. ;] we were really early so not much pple were inside the building. &guesssss what?! jin talked to us. :D *drool* lmao. jk! but yeah. we were one of the FiRST pple he talked to. ;] that was theeee best. *CHEEESE* then left cause they din`t let us get anything signed till later. *roar* went to mcdonalds. saw kent. then blah blah blah. saw pple with jin`s autograph! *roar* >:P haha jk! talked to calvin &hatsue for a while. then bussed it home on the 29 with kent &betty. imma cut this short. byeee! :]  
-

i`m not looking for someone to waste my time.
and i`m not that kind of girl to read between the lines.
every girl wants a guy that`s right,
and i`ve been waiting for this guy all my life.
every girl wants a guy that`s true.
we`ve been kickin` it for a while,
it could be you.
i want to know where we stand.
are you gonna be a dog, or a gentleman.
come clean, keep it straight with me.
tell me boy, what's it gonna be.